Space Asteroid Shooter
Об игре
Get ready to blast your way into the endless space and survive as long as you can against dangerous asteroids and deadly enemies.
Достижения
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A long time ago
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in a galaxy far, far away...
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the evil empire of the asteroids
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send out their best soldiers
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to find one man.
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That man is me. Captain Curtain...
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and this is my story....
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A story full of despair, love and empty space.
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A story so full of story that even the most uninterested once
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will have problems to not listen to it.
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A story that will take your children and grandchildren
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and will make them a warm and healthy breakfast
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with eggs
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and bacon
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and god damn pancakes! I know they love pancakes!
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A story that will steal your girlfriend and take her out for dinner.
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That will make your grandma dance tango on the table.
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And last but not least that will blow you...
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...r mind like no one else ever did.
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*making a disturbing sound of cleaning the throat
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So one day I have been on the way to P32X4D
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(that's the name of one of those designer planets
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that they used to create near my galaxy...
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basically like a normal planet but just a bit more colorful...
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like when you pee in the snow and you realize that...
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well I guess you got the point here.)
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Where was I.... Oh yeah... P32X4D was one of those...
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A nice place, with chicks everywhere and party all night long...
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and damn, the nights there last for 3 and a half years...
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so you have plenty of time to go crazy before...
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you have to go back to work on freaking Monday.
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Basically what I am saying is, it was the best
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7 year long party weekend I ever had.
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And everything started as I went to a proton bar...
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just to get some positive vibes.
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There was a dude. He looked me in the face and said:
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Arrrrgsdh dsadawehasj sad sasdjsda sdsawd!
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My implemented toogle-translator-micro-chip translated:
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Yuu luuk like sumeone whu needs sum fun.
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that I could go with him to that awesome place...
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He continued to tell me about that party planet and told me
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(The translator chip does actually simulate the accent as well.)
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if I would just do him 1 little favor. Just 1 little favor.
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unsatisfying relationship with Squirman.
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I really wasn't the party guy and just came out of a very
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(Half squirrel half human )
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Anyhow he kept talking and seemingly ignored whatever I said
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???
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The favor turned out to be not such a big deal.
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just to make him shut up.
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All I had to do was to walk into an old house
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take a flower that was placed conveniently
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in the middle of the room
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After having a hangover on Monday night...
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and deliver the flower to the guy.
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Afterwards, we had the already mentioned party weekend.
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I decided...
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which of course also lasted for 3 and a half years
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a respectable human being.
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to finally leave the party planned and become...
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the last survivors escaped to other galaxies...
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Probably I am the last human that lives in this galaxy.
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Most of us got extinct because of the intergalactic flue
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Basically, everyone died.
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sadly the spaceship that they used to escape
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I, on the other hand, was unable to find my underwear
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Therefore the spaceship left without me
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which resulted in me being late, like always.
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was hit by an asteroid shower and got totally demolished.
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on my way through the departure gate, a policeman stopped me.
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Anyhow, so I decided to leave the party planet...
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You... Stop you... he said.
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Which now results in me being the only human being alive.
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You... Come with me you... he said.
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I stopped.
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He was a huge firefly-like being.
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Instead of wings, he seemed to have something like...
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laser beams.
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He seemed serious...
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Those seemed dangerous and kept pulsating,
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Then I looked at his laser-beam-wings
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I looked at his face...
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His laser beam wings smoothly changed into a dangerous red color.
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I then looked back at his face...
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to follow him without saying anything.
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I opened my mouth, then closed it again and started
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He no seemed angry about my hesitation.
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He guided me through many dark corridors
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and finally stopped at the last door...
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for the two of us to fit in.
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in the very darkest of all corners.
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The room was built out of metal and was barely big enough
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We entered the room and I was asked to sit down on a small chair.
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Inside of the room was the small chair that I was supposed
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"Something terrible has happened. The queen of P32X4D was stolen you."
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A great flower who even though she was a queen
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She was a woman of the public and a supporter of the poor.
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The queen was loved by everyone.
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You seem to be a human, you...
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So, now you... what is your deal you?, he said.
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the huge police-man-ish creature sat on.
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Like the human race you. Like the race that got extinct you.
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All the intelligent living beings in the whole galaxy
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that entered the house and was not made out of
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lived in a small house, like she was poor.
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It basically froze everything
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security system.
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Even though she lived in a small house she had a very advanced
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And yes, she was actually a flower.
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It was designed like this to make sure that the queen,
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which would have been able to enter the house of the queen,
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have been made out of a maximum of 40% water,
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which means that the humans have been the only race
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at least 60% water.
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and kind of took a flower with him.
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my head started hurting.
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While I was listening to what happened
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Well before they got extinct I mean.
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which again was a flower, got enough water to live.
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Oh was that not obvious you? We need to find the human...
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I knew a certain human who did recently enter a small house
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But who would have known that a simple flower
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in a small house, would be the beloved queen of a whole planet.
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The police-bug has been watching me while he told me all of this.
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He now looked deeply into my eyes and said
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with a very serious and almost threatening tone:
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WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?
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I replied
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Ohm... Excuse me?
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WILL YOU HELP US... YOU?
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He repeated.
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who stole the queen of our lovely planet.
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You are a human, aren't you you?
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So you should know what a human thief is thinking.
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You will be from great benefit in finding the evil thief.
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I stared in his bug buggy eyes...
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I was unsure how to respond to this
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So I decided to simply stare at him and act like I was frozen.
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(Yes that was an active decision and
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not just because I was confused and didn't know what to do.)
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Suddenly the police-bug jumped off his chair...
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Before I even could do anything
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and I was shooting through a whole system of pipes
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the small chair launched into the air.
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No I mean I already understood you. But help you with what?
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A small hole did open up in the seeling
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SUPER YOU! We are glad to have you on our side you
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Prepare for launch you!!!
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slowly a spaceship was fading in around me...
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Said a voice from a loudspeaker.
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We are happy to have you with us.
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Your goal is to find the queen.
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We do track your position continuously
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so whenever you find her we will be there to rescue her.
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We wish you good luck, captain.
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I was all alone.
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Everything was so fast that I must have lost conscience.
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As I woke up I was staring a sky full of stars.
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So many stars...
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Basically only stars...
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Wherever I was looking I could see only stars...
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What was going on? Where was I?
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was I floating in space?
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As I became aware of my situation
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Welcome to flight XOXO.
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I remembered that there are spaceships like this
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If the pilot falls asleep they will go into invisibility mode
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this is supposed to protect them from enemies
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while the pilot is not able to react...
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however, I didn't imagine, that they would actually turn invisible
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for the pilot as well.
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My head started hurting again.
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and preferred the comfort of teleportation
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With that, the cracking voice from the loudspeaker was gone.
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A big red button which was labeled with fire.
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It basically only consisted of a joystick
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and recognized that those were surprisingly simple.
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We will be waiting for your results.
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I looked at the controls of the spaceship
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and there was nothing I could do in this situation anyway.
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"Press in case that you found the queen. BUT ONLY THEN!!!, it said."
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And a big green button which had a sticky mark on it.
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I did never fly a spaceship before.
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How did I come into this situation?
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???
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Shoot.
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Asteroids approaching.
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Dodge.
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Shoot.
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You get the idea.
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Finally 20 years later I had developed a serious coffee addiction
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coffee that was teleported in my mouth.
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as the great astroid graveyards of the great 20-year war.
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After being trapped in a spaceship for 20 years
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And we took off to another adventure...
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What? Who said that?
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Asked a really polite voice.
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Do you really think it is the time to sleep, Sir
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Too much thinking always got me tired
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I decided it was best to take a short nap.
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and basically got stolen by myself.
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which was somewhere in the universe
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I mean how was I supposed to find a flower
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I was not the flying type
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I actually have barely ever been in one...
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The following war would be known
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as the great 20-year asteroid showers.
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Which that the near asteroid started flying in our direction.
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and a very fast moving object that was hard to hit.
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The board computer smoothly dodged the asteroids
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and prepared to fight back.
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It even found the time
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to teleport some more coffee into my mouth.
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Soon after that like a cuatrillon astroids showed up
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and tried to crush my spaceship under their enormous weight.
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Because the board computer apparently was an incredible
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pilot they mostly didn't even come close to us.
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It also worked in our favor that asteroids are huge
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and very slow if it comes to changing the flight direction
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My spaceship destroyed the asteroids 1 by 1 while dodging
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this took us around 20 years.
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Here is a short summary of our war:
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Asteroids approaching.
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Dodge.
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Shoot.
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Asteroids approaching.
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obviously to control the movement of my spaceship
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U du still rumember thu lust une... ut wus crazuy!
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Huw ubuut u luttle partuy weeund un P32X4D?
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Nuw, sunce yuu ure hure and U huve nuthing butter tuu duu...
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cun nut be ungry ut ull. Therefure U forguv yuu.
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Wull, guud fur yuu thut wu astruid peuple
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Yuu whu ruined muy purfect plun uf tuking uver P32X4D.
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Ut is you! Yuu whu dufeatud muy armuy.
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I looked around and saw an old man sitting on a bench.
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The spaceship landed and I went out.
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that there was a planet right in front of us.
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It had moved so fast that I didn't even recognize
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Then the spaceship stopped.
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I really didn't listen at all.
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???
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the source of power was only the potential of its existence
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the potential existence of a molecule at a certain point
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explained how he was able to generate energy out of
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On the way the board computer
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Calculated the coordination of a planet and started moving again.
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Without even waiting for my command the spaceship
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Now we will get you the queen!
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Great to hear you are satisfied with m work, Sir.
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I looked out of the window and was what later was known
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I thought I was hallucinating as I heard the words.
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Dodge.
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which made it much more easy to dodge the asteroids.
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that was just what I needed at this moment.
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